I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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