Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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