operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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