So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize