I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize