i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize