just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
