the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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