forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just forgot I was standing up.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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