ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
