When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
