hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
