Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
