so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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