theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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