Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
