You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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