Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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