oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We need to get me chipped asap
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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