Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
