The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
