Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
