We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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