have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
