he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
