doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
