i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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