What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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