who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
