I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
