im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
