Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize