I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
