You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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