I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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