names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
