I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
