So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
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