Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
