My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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