i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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