Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
