Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
