I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
