surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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