yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
