I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
