So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
