Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
