Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
