i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
