he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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