You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize