I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
