i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize