I'm lost and stupid without you.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i love accidental penises.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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