I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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