playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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