i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
