Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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