Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
