I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Bring me that man meat
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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