My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize