Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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