I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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