We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
